TeaBagged Her? Darn Near Killed Her! Since the standards for reporting a peaceful assembly of protesters has been, shall we say, revised downward, I thought I'd offer some snappy patter over protests past. Now, I'm no Edward R. Murrow, but I'll give it a shot.


International ANSWER's out protesting the war again. Did you know ANSWER stood for ANal Sex While Enjoying Reacharound?

Oh, hey, so's Code Pink. How is it so many harpies can get sand in their vaginas simultaneously?

How about that Million Man March, eh? How were so many black men able to get time off of work? Oh wait, never mind . . .

Little known fact; so many Hispanics went to the streets on The Day Without Immigrants, the average Latino birth rate actually decreased to about 12 per family.

Gay Pride Marches: The Bath Houses of the Oughts.

Offended? Good. I deliberately picked the most offensive things I could devise, solely for the purpose of making an offensive joke at these groups' expense. Just because you disagree with the Tea Party protesters doesn't make them dumb, racist, misogynist, homopobic, or illiterate. It just means they don't see things the way you do. And like every protest of every stripe, it's expressly protected in the Constitution.

Goose? Consider yourself and the gander well met.

Here endeth the lesson.  ¶ 9:08 PM 0 comments

  Days since an Obama gaffe: 0? Given today's date, I'm still waiting to hear confirmation. If it is an April Fool's gag, it's all too plausible.

Obama's Gift to the Queen of England: An iPod.

Thank God Almighty we didn't elect those dumb bumpkins McCain and Palin, eh? Given the Anointed One's almost eerily flawless diplomatic skills, I'm sure the ills of the world shall be all fixed, almost instantaneously.

Any second now.

Just you wait.  ¶ 4:00 PM 2 comments

  Worthy of preservation From a comment left in regard to this Protein Wisdom post:

[Obama] wants to take my money and leave my children in debt and make them do mandatory voluntary service, and socialize the health care system, and weaken the military, and grow the size of government, and make it more intrusive, and take away our guns, and ghettoize religion, and force physicians and pharmacists to either do things they believe to be unethical or give up practicing as part of the socialization of medicine, and make injured military pay for their treatments, and make our children wards of the state, and destroy our economy with his cap and trade schemes, and lots of other pernicious shit, but I really wish him all success apart from all that stuff.

That about sums it up. Helluva first 60 days in office, Barry.

The original post, by the way, is another slap in the continual bitch-fight between concerns who state outright that they wish for the implementation of Obama's policies to fail, and those who want to play nice.

More on this later, but I'm definitely siding with the former camp.  ¶ 4:40 PM 0 comments

  A better man would let this go Too bad I'm not him.



Thank God we didn't vote those morons McCain and Palin in, eh?  ¶ 12:48 PM 0 comments

  Days Since an Obama Gaffe: 0 Barack Obama's apology for remarks made on the 3/19 taping of Jay Leno's show, first draft.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, my fellow Americans . . .

"What's the big fuckin' deal, bitches? Seriously, I wasn't saying waterheads were bad, I was just saying that I bowled like a gimpy waterhead. That's all. What? Somebody slip you some aspirin when you were a kid or something?

"Anyway, what do you care? If you can understand me, then you're not a tard. It's not like what I said interrupts their drooling or anything. What are they going to do, burn me in effigy? Stage a Million Mongoloid March? What? Maybe cram a few thousand of them into their little short buses, so they can march in front of the White House, shouting 'duhhhrrrr?'

"Deal with it. I won. So strap on your little helmets and get the fuck over it."

His remarks were, of course, later amended.


**UPDATE** Of course and as usual, Treacher does it faster, and better than I do.  ¶ 7:57 AM 2 comments

  So many enemies, so little time The ever growing list of proles who dare to refuse the bliss of being One with Dear Leader:

1. Rush Limbaugh
2. Jim Cramer

And now,

3. Sarah Palin

The sideshow continues. Pay no attention to the sudden exodus of money from private citizens whose only sin was earning a living. Maybe they can throw us some bread while we're watching the spectacle.

And while we're at it, let's borrow a line from Ann Coulter, who, while not exactly my favorite person, did raise a valid point in noting that the news media acted as a watchdog during the Bush administration, as a guard dog for the current administration, and as a lapdog for Dear Leader himself.  ¶ 2:29 PM 2 comments

  Dilemmas Do I title this post "Weapons of Mass Distraction" or "Two-Minute Hate?"

Remember this big of comedic gold from subretard Seth MacFarlane?



Substitute "Rush Limbaugh" in for "9/11," and you have the Anointed One's current strategy for deflecting criticism. (Link via Drudge)

I don't even like Limbaugh. Making the news cycle revolve around him, however, is such a painfully transparent bit of sleight of hand that, if it works, the average Obama disciple must be either still wholly spellbound or cognitively impaired.

News flash: You can't blame Limbaugh for the DJIA dropping like a stone each and every time Obama opens his mouth.  ¶ 9:35 AM 0 comments